Nerd Alert 1st edition! Star Wars invades San Fran

I'm adding a new category: Nerd Alert! This is where you can get your geek on with nerd related content. So get the Cheetos, write your imaginary girlfriend in Canada, and tell all your buddies on message boards to take a break from fapping and enjoy the first Nerd Alert post:

The Empire has invaded San Francisco and gaylarity has ensued:

Ellen Got Lesbian Married

Ellen seems like a very nice fella, so I'm happy for her and the chick from Arrested Development. I hope they have lots of Chinese babies!

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Update: If I was a lesbian, I would be so happy, all day long I would make out with chicks, build shelves, play softball, uh ... go to curves, watch Bravo, uh ... lets see what else ... marry Bill Clinton, be Carson Daly, think Magaret Cho was funny. Stuff like that ... it would be bliss.

Michael Phelps Cheated! Yes!

I don't know how, but somehow he cheated. Maybe he peed in the pool every time, to slow down the Australians. I do that for footraces ... when I run alone in the park : /

I don't care how he did it, whether it was urination or robot legs, but he destroyed the other countries, once again showing America's dominance in a leisure activity that old people do in their backyards. Yes! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! Suck it Canada!

Now watch this guy trying to make his cat and dog fall in love and slowly drown:

We'll never beat the Taliban in the Olympics though. We'll just have to keep blowing them up. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Mr. Rogers wants to show you something.

Please gather the kids around the ol' computer and have them watch this. I mean, i'm assuming you want messed up kids right? It's funnier.

Lets continue being really wrong ... here is more ruining something good in the world:




Now here ... just to make you feel good for the day (until you realize how much your life is failing) ... here is Mr. Rogers In 1969, appearing before the United States Senate Subcommittee on Communications. He was trying to get funding for PBS because Nixon was trying to make cuts. (p.s. I agree with Nixon mwa ha ha ha)

Crazy Cat Lady! Also known as: my future wife

A crazy cat lady won a court battle to continue being a crazy cat lady. Read it HERE

Now here's a video of me dressed as an old woman and speaking Russian feeding the kitties that live in my garage:

Ok, i lied ... it wasn't my garage.

Now here is the mosh version:



If I had that many cats i would be soooo happy. I would make soooo much money from the Korean buffet down the street. Then I would buy soooo much Korean buffet.

Caturday!

Thank you dear Jeabus for this bounty of Caturday, and may others who are less fortunate and have far fewer pictures of cats someday also get to enjoy Caturday.

This we pray with grammatically inkorect capshuns ... meow.
























































Next week ... brand spakin' new never before seen kitty pictures. Yes! Win!

They Found Bigfoot! No they didn't. Fail.

Hillbillies took a break from getting anal probes today and pretended they found Bigfoot.

Who are the geniuses who claim to have made this major scientific discovery? ... These dudes:



You can read about it here: Click Me Or you can just read my best guess on what happened:


Some hillbillies went out into the woods after doing crystal meth and watching Carson Daily's horrible television show, the combination of these irresponsible and dangerous actions caused them to make very poor and borderline homosexual choices. So they went deep into the woods to get gay with each other and then one of them stumbled upon a bear's den. Well, they were so hopped up on meth they came up with the brilliant idea ... "lets have sex with the bear." While doing this, they gave the bear super-aids, and it somehow immediately died. Well then it hit them ... "lets put a gorilla mask on the dead bear and pretend it's bigfoot, maybe then we could go on Carson Daily's horrible unwatchable television show."

And that's exactly what happened. So in conclusion, Carson Daily shouldn't be on television.

Update: Read This. Yeah, it doesn't exist, just like the Tooth Fairy, mermaids, and Oprah.

I've Been Busy

Normally I'll add about 4 posts a day, with the exception of Caturday. Caturday is of course is the day every week, that we celebrate when Moses and Gandhi freed the cats the belonged to the slaves in World War 2.

But i've been very busy lately ... I'm working on some projects, one of which is a short movie. So far it's going pretty good, so we'll see. Well, see for yourself ... here is the first clip from my groundbreaking short movie:

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I know, it's pretty great.

Also, notice that I now have a sponsor in the "dot" column. If you have nothing better to do, go ahead and give them a click. I can promise it will either create world peace, or destroy every man, woman, and child on the planet. Either way, it's fun.