10 Best Movies Of 2009

Since the Academy Awards weirdly (desperate attempt at driving up more interest for a show nobody watches anymore) now has 10 nominee's for best picture. Mostly good choices, but my list is better, more supple, and tight. I don't know what that means.

note: In a perfect world, Old Dogs would win every award ever, but we live in a sick world, with an angry God, so here are the 10 other best movies of last year:



10. 'Anvil! The Story of Anvil'
- It's the story of Anvil


9. Precious
- Oprah plays every part.


8. Star Trek
- Story of a young Luke Skywalker and his space friends.




7. Fantastic Mr. Fox
- Great makeup.


6. District 9
- District 8 was better.



5. Inglorious Basterds
- I learned a lot about WW2.


4. Zombieland
- You should take your young children to see it.



3. Where the Wild Things Are
- Kinda long Yeah Yeah Yeah's music video.


2. Up
- I wept like a young girl from start to finish, I even started my period during the movie.


1. Avatar
- 7foot naked smurfs in 3D! My prayers are finally being answered in life.



I haven't seen The Hurt Locker, A Serious Man, An Education, or 500 Days of Summer yet. But I've seen every other single movie including the ones you keep hidden in the back of your sock drawer, you sick sick people.

Music Wars! The Beatles vs The Rolling Stones vs Elvis vs Cameo

Brand new edition to MRNspace: Music Wars!



4 Musical Acts Enter, One leaves. ... because the others are murdered. Well, not really murdered, but I just pick which one I like the most. And then I spend a year stalking them and murder them. Well not Elvis, he's already dead. But I will murder his family! Wait, wait I think I'm getting confused. Ok, so nobody gets "murdered" but still ... 4 Musical Acts Enter, but only One Survives! And is murdered.

1st:

The Beatles

Skills: Awesome Songs, Beard Growing, Fancy Outfits, Ringo

Weaknesses: Dying, Ringo




next:

The Rolling Stones

Skills: Awesome Songs (until the mid 80's,) Immortality, Karate

Weaknesses: Eating Disorders, Massive Drug Abuse, Poor Typing



next:

Elvis

Skills: Fancy Outfits, King of Rock n Roll, Karate

Weaknesses: Dead, Massive Drug Abuse, Athlete's Foot



next:

Cameo

Skills: Awesome Songs, Fancy Outfits, Black

Weaknesses: Dead? Maybe, nobody knows, Only one hit song, Black




- Beatles defeat Elvis, it was 4 to 1. Well, really 3 to 1, I'm not counting Ringo.

- Rolling Stones defeat Cameo, which shocked me because Cameo is black. But Charlie Watts stabbed him.

Which left it to Beatles vs. Rolling Stones.

Two Men Enter ... Each Other ... One Man Leaves.

Winner: ?

Your comments will decide.

God Hates Lady Gaga! But MRN Loves Her.

Those rascally silly-billies at the Westboro Baptist Church have a brand new target for their adorable hatred: Lady Gaga.



For those of you unfamiliar, the Westboro Baptist Church is pretty much made up of one batshit crazy family that really, really, no REALLY hates gay people. I mean they HAAAAAAAAATE the gays. They hate the gays sooooo much that they celebrate and hold up signs at the funerals of our U.S. soldiers. Why do they do this? Because we don't execute the gays like the Westboro Baptist Church would like.



They are just precious.

So with their infinite wisdom, besides enjoying the death of our soldiers and hoping that all Americans (other than them) die, they have turned their sights onto Lady Gaga. I don't even feel like making fun of her. And I make fun of EVERYONE. But not her. I know her vagina is probably filled with the same acid that is the blood for the Aliens in the Alien movies, and if I had sex with her, my penis would be burnt off, but I still refuse to make fun of her.

God apparently hates Lady Gaga:



Why does THAT turn me on?!


"You pissed off God, you'll see what he's got."



oooooh, you little bastards.

Here is the original, and less hate filled, but just as weird original version:






But The Westboro Baptist Church thinks that Lady Gaga and EVERYONE who likes her is going to Hell. Which means that the Westboro Baptist Church thinks I am going to hell. That's right, me, MRN! IS GOING TO HELL! LIKE HELL I AM!


GO TO HELL WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH! SUCK IT, EAT IT, CHOKE ON IT, (i'm talking about my penis and me balls) AND DIE! ... YOU DUMB HORRIBLE SICKINING BITCHES!

Google Search Recommendations?!

Google is a great way to find porn find information that you need. Information about porn any number of topics. However, either through mischief, or through accident, a lot of Google's search recommendations take you to a place you might not have intended to go. Sort of like that time I drank too much in that truck stop bathroom and fell asleep. I ended up making new friends and new appointments to my proctologist. That's a joke about being anally raped. ba da ching

Here are some of my favorite Google Search Recommendations! Part 1.

Can he?



... Yes. It's in the bible.

---

Discharge?!




... Because you're whore.

---

Asians.



... I'm responsible for most of those questions. Sorry : /

---

Fat Girlfriend.



... Your girlfriend weighs 310 pounds, and it's the best you will ever get because you are technically retarded and you have no genitals.

---

Italiano Browno



... Everybody likes a little bit of brown sugar in their cannoli every once in a while. That's a spicy meatball yo.

---

There are so many of them!




... again, my bad on this. I think I'm mostly responsible for it. It's just that, they have no peripheral vision and I fear that.

---

Of course they do.




And yes to all the pube questions.

---

I'm fun at picnics.



... your fruit salad is going to taste awesome!

---

Naturally.



... roar.

---

Chris Hanson.



... but I mostly hope she made lots of spaghetti.

Goodbye for now Coco!

After getting ass-raped by dingle-berry licker, Jeff "Mother" Zucker, Cone Bone can now fly free (starting in September.)



Here is Conan, his band, Will Ferrell, Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top, Beck, and Ben Harper singing Free Bird.





Conan died for our sins.

Never forget.


We remember all here at MRNspace.com. We remember all.



R.I.P. Arsenio Hall 1956 - Kinda still alive.

2 Movie Reviews! By Guest Contributor!

Sorry I haven't posted as much lately. I've been busy with the Jersey Shore marathon and slowly killing myself. But here I am back and blacker than ever with 2 movie reviews by guest contributor: Cuntmaster 2000. She chose the name. "Judge yee not, yet you be the judge of stuff and things and dolphins and whatnot." That's a direct quote from the book of Mormon.

Spoiler Alerts for both reviews. Also, possibly an Amber Alert for both reviews:

Review 1.

Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Schlong.



They try to make you feel like Watson has reason to live vs engaging in Sherlock's shenanigans by giving Watson a fiance, and it doesn't work. You still don't care. They at least had better chemistry between them though than Robert Downey Jr. and Rachel McUgly. I literally fell asleep during one of their boring scenes together. Boring boring boring boring. The entire movie was boring. There were moments intended for pause and laughter, but the timing was off and left me feeling awkward and angry. It was all so boring and horrible I didn't even care about the occult, and I ALWAYS care about the occult. With all the dark magic and so-called spookiness, you'd think a satanist like me would spooge all over a pentacle, but nope, I didn't even touch myself, not once. I'm so damn bored even talking about the boredom, so let's just keep at this--don't waste your time or money on this shit bomb. They even open it up to a sequel. Who fucking cares. And one more thing, Watson should've died in a fire but came out of it with a papercut. Bull fucking shit. So stupid, all so very stupid.


Review 2.

The Princess And The Frog



This is going to be short because I'm still blubbering away like a baby. Disney has really got to stop killing off characters, especially not two in one movie, shit. I really don't like how they dealt with the second death because they made it OK just because they allude to an afterlife. Bull fucking shit. Kids, continue to be sad, he dead, ain't no reunions with loved ones after death, you just gone, suckas.

If you're in your twenties to mid thirties, you'll be happy to know it's a lot like the Little Mermaid and Aladdin. And it teaches bitches to be self-reliant and not rely on no man oh nuh uh, you work girl, you WORK, you get on your knees and you work it.

One last item of importance--I couldn't tell if the prince was black too, I don't think he was supposed to be, I think he was just tan which made me wonder if Disney was afraid to pale him up for fear of a too obviously interracial couple. If you know what the deal is, please do tell in comment below.

Welp, I think that's all I have to say, actually. Told you it would be short. Just like my stack of dimes dick. Suck it.

- Cuntmaster 2000