Kinda Dirty Music Video Of The Week!

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP YOUR NEW MASTER! BOW DOWN HAYSEEDS!

Welcome to a new feature of MRNspace.com ... the Kinda Dirty Music Video of the Week. There are exactly 9 things i love in life and only 9 things. They are: My GF, 3% of my blood relatives, My awesome dog, Boobs, All the friends who let me tag them as nude elderly men on facebook, Hot Pockets, My Country, Getting Drunk and Watching "Doctor Who" on Netflix, and skimpily dressed, sexually suggestive women, dancing or jogging (in slow motion) to easily accessible electronic pop songs.


You really need to try and remove your prejudices about such work. If you look deeper into this form of art, you will realize that it is a wonderful example of women taking control over their own image and using their sexuality as a tool for empowerment. Plus, it give me boners.

Here is week one: Princess Superstar!

Try not to mess up your keyboard.

Too Soon? Michael Jackson

Oh, I don't mean too soon that he died, I mean it's too soon for me to say everything I'm about to say. Michael Jackson didn't die yesterday, Michael Jackson died like 20 years ago.



Michael Jackson 1958 – 2009 RIP

Michael Jackson's nose 1958 - 1989 RIP

The first album I ever purchased was Thriller. And I loved it. Every song was great, every video was revolutionary and amazing. The John Landis directed video for Thriller is still one of the most entertaining things I've ever seen. He wasn't weird then, he was mysterious and eccentric.

Then ... then he got weird. He started going too far with the skin bleaching and plastic surgery, and he stopped being a cool black guy and started to becoming a creepy white guy. Yet for a while there, he still made cool songs and did some cool stuff. And then ....

CHILD MOLESTATION. He was never convicted because the alleged victim was paid an ass-load of money to keep his mouth shut. But at the very least, he was absolutely guilty of being completely un-effin appropriate with underage boys! WTF?! No matter if you think he was innocent or guilty, he was putting himself in messed up situations with young boys from broken families. Where there is smoke, there's a flaming homosexual pedophile. I'd like to think he didn't do anything wrong with young boys. I'd also like to think Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and Jessica Simpson really existed. But they don't, and I've learned to accept that.

He had a messed up life. He had his (at the time, black) ass beaten constantly by his complete dick of a father, Joe. Starting as a young child he was used and manipulated by horrible people who all wanted to make a lot of money from his talents. His life was sad, and what he may have done to other children is even sadder.



Michael Jackson was a unique and extreme talent who became a sad, deformed version of what he once was, both inside and outside. I mourn Michael Jackson, but not the one who died yesterday. I mourn the talented kid, teenager, and young adult who made amazing records and videos.

Spencer Pratt: Worst Human Being Alive Part 1

Some dude from the interwebs wrote a little rap. I would have written a little rap but instead i ate like 20 tacos and watched documentaries about lesbians on Netflix, hoping to see boobs. I saw a lot of hairy arm pits and a taiwanese ladyboy instead. FML!

Anyway, here is something i had nothing to do with:

MRN's Friends Part 2!

Ok listen you bastards, I'm in a gang, ok? Nearly every Thursday I go rollerskating with my gang. We don't have an official name, but if we did, it would be be something badass like ... "The Purple Nurples," or the "Vag Squad." We are Hardcore. You don't want any of this. You wanna pull rented-roller-skate-wheels out your anus all week? I didn't think so. Let me introduce you to the gang.


LISA V:


This is Lisa V. She's sporting super fast roller skates and a blow torch. She also likes kitties. She'll burn you till you die.



Becky:

Here is Becky. She's not only a super fast roller skater, she's also a nurse. I drew her with a chainsaw and a nurse's bag. She will cut your arms off but then fix it with band-aids. If you see her walking towards you, run both near and away from her, at the same time. She will heal/kill you. Just look at that burning village in the background. Things went down.



Ame:


Here is Ame. She is on the prowl. Hide your youngin's she's a puma, and she's ready to feed. I don't know what most of these things mean. But she has nunchucks.



Aspasia:


Aspasia is the fashionista of the gang. She makes all of our uniforms, which are not only resistant to knife attacks but surprisingly roomy in the crotch area. She is seen here with a North Korean intercontinental balistic missile and a doll of Whoopi Goldberg which she carries around sometimes, for real. That's hardcore beeotch.



Joanna


The last of our blood thirsty gang. She paints ... paints with blood of her victims. Or oil paints. Mostly oil paints. She's depicted here with a disco ball, to show that she's roller skating, cuz i messed up and didn't have space for her feet. Also with an old black guy. Old black men love her. They love her so hard.



That's my hardcore gang. Best step off bitch.

Next week, meet more of my friends.

MRN's Friends Part 1

World of Warcraft FREAK OUT!

Jeeze! This is just like me when mom cancels my subscription to GILF Monthly : /

WTF Friday 12!

20 years ago, I began WTF Friday. It was a different time. Pac Man was sweeping the nation and the telephone was being invented. World War 1 had just started and Napoleon conquered Mexico, and Mexico wasn't even real and some other crap happened, and everyting was pretty much like Braveheart and Lord of the Rings. This is history, but the future is the following video. From this day forth all that is good will be whatever this video is, and all that this video is will be forth. Wait ... what?

Greatest video ever?!

... yes.

Black guys sex dancing to The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time - Song of Storms. Filmed in my basement : /

MRN's Friends Part 1!

A Lot of you bastards have asked me, "MRN, why are you so sexy? Why do you make me feel tickly in my who-ha?" But you've also asked me a lot of questions about my life. Just who am I? What kinds of things do I do? Who are my friends? Most of those questions are none of your g.d. business. You just leave comments, give me hits, attention, and keep your very dirty mouths shut. But since I'm feeling quite charitable, I'll try to answer that last question. Just who are my friends? Well, I'm quite fortunate to have a lot of succulent friends who would all take a bullet for me, once I pushed them in front of me.

I think the best way to explain who my friends are is to show you my very talented artistic renditions of them. Which I spent literally seconds making.









Neil




Neil is 8 feet tall and plays music. He moved to Seattle a few years ago because he got drunk and thought it would be funny. In this picture I have drawn him with the space needle. I love the city of Seattle and so I gave the Space Needle a penis and balls so it would feel good about itself.


Next we have my oldest friend. I mean that I've been friends with him for a really long time, I don't mean that he's really old. My oldest friend was Bea Arthur. May she rest in peace, praise be his name.


Nick




Not too long ago, Nick married a Rockette and started spending more time with the baby Jebbus. I myself like to spend time with toddler Jeebus. Nobody ever talks about toddler Jeebus, so I got dibs. Nick and his lovely wife are about to move to Africa, home of cheetah's, civil war, and all those girls Oprah bought. Nick and Autumn are going to help people who need it. That's nice of them. Sounds like a lot of work. While they do that, I'm gonna watch cartoons and eat Hot Pockets.

In the picture I drew, Nick has built a mudhouse for poor Africans (something he's really gonna do.) It looks like a nice mud house, it has an oak door with a solid gold doorknob and is fully equipped with wi-fi and direct tv. Also there is a Nuclear Missile from North Korea there.

Next we have my multi-cultural friend ...


Gina




Gina is both Italian, and Lebanese. So as you can clearly see I've perfectly depicted these two proud cultures with a Pizza and a question mark. I drew a question mark because every time i tried to draw stuffed grape leaves for the Lebanese thing, they just ended up looking like cat turds : /

Anyhoo, Gina is a good person in a world filled with balloon knots. A balloon knot is a reference to the hole in your butt. Bend over, spread your cheeks, and take a look in the mirror, it totally looks like a balloon knot, doesn't it?! You like doing this? You like bending over, spreading your butt cheeks and looking at your anus?! You sicken me.

Next we got my dear friend and often internet muse ...


Elin




No, seriously, that's her real name. It's a cool name isn't? I bet you wish you had a cool name. But your name is probably gay. It's probably like Pat, or Bob, or Carson. Gay. Get a cool name and then we'll talk. Because, until you have a cool name you disgust me. Elin likes helping. After college she joined the peace corps. You know that thing you hear about on tv and would never join because you love cable tv as much as I do. But she went to the dangerous magical Island of Vanuatu. Home of hallucinogenic teas and a made-up Jar Jar Binks language called "Bislama." The funniest language ever. A helicopter is called "mix-master jesus christ." I shit you not. And a bra is called a "basket blong titi." I learned the language just for the jokes.

I don't know what she did over there, but the villagers tried to kill her because they thought her I-pod was Voldemort or something. Anyway, she helps people. Now she helps people on a retard farm where retards are harvested and sold at market every Summer. She's a good person.

In my awesome drawing, I show Elin with a peace symbol and a Mercedes symbol because sometimes you want to help retarded people and villages in style. Also she has a sword.

Next we got my good friend ...


Dana




Dana is how I see the world, she's black and white. But since I'm color blind, she's just ... i have no freakin' idea. And just like Elin, she was also in the peace corps. It's amazing that a right-wing war monger like myself has so many peacenic friends. It's like Skeletor having brunch every weekend with Man-At-Arms. If you don't know what that meant, then you don't know He-Man, and you make me want to puke and then urinate in my puke. Read about He-man and make yourself useful in life.

Anyhoo ... Dana grew up in Germany and so I depicted that with WW2 in the picture. Because that's what Germany is mostly known for and I didn't know how to draw the holocaust. And she lives in Chicago, so I depicted a pizza. They make pizza there. The peace symbol is for the peace corps thing and the gun is because she's been an inner city school teacher for the last two years. She's good people.

Next is my friend ...


Jessica




Jessica and I have been friends since High School. Speaking of high school ... What's with High School reunions? It was only four freakin years of your pathetic life, and you have to relive it for the rest of your meaningless, lonely, and vile, dark days?! LET IT GO!!!! It was a time when you were a teenager and teenagers are retarded! Why do we have to have reunions for a four year period in our lives that either sucked donkey balls or for some of you losers were the peak of your horrid social existence? If high school was the best time of your life, there is a really high chance that you are an asshole.

Anyways ... so my good friend Jessica is depicted in the picture above as a mermaid, because I got kind of drunk and thought it was a good idea. Mermaids are pretty hot but the problem of course is ... fish vagina. Not just like a "doesn't take care of herself properly" kind of fish vagina. I'm talking about an actual fish vagina. How would that even work?! Would you really do that?! If so, bless you, you're more committed than I am. But I don't think I could go through with it. I mean sure I've walked through aquariums and thought ... "that's a sexy fish, i wouldn't mind engaging in sexual intercourse with it." But I don't think I could take it farther than that. Also in the picture is a North Korean nuclear submarine. So ... yeah ... that's my good friend Jessica. My apologies Jessica : /

Next we got my friend ....


Yvette




Yvette is from the fictional island-nation of the Philippines. Famous of course for Jurassic Park and Leprechauns. I don't really have any formal education : /

Yvette has a wonderful sense of humor, and a wonderful sense of smell. She loves bacon and chinchilla's. You can see that in the perfectly depicted picture above. Yvette was once a champion martial artists in judo. That means she could eff you up if you want to make fun of her for being Asian. Of if you ARE Asian, since she has no tolerance for that either.

I have wonderful friends, but these aren't all of them. Just the ones that my condition has convinced me are real. I have more. So stay tuned for Part 2!


MRN's Friends Part 2

WTF Friday 11!

DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, BUT...


MUST


HAVE!



Oh man, it looks so adorable, evil, and delicious. WANT!

BREASTS!

First ... if you think I'm doing a post all about Breasts just because I want more site views, you're right. Second ... if you think you know what I'm going to say about them ... you're also probably right. But read it anyway, your life is already a mess, you have nothing to lose. Except your precious time, and possibly your job, if you are are reading this at work. I use the word "titties." But you can get another job. There are other corners.

So anyways ... Breasts, those milk producing glands that feed your babies and are the reason you either did or did not get that last raise at work. The best things in life sometimes really are the simplest. Two blobs with pepperoni in the middle, awesome.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Small, medium, large, huge, real, fake, tiny, droopy, perky, national geographic and so on. Each a special little miracle from jeebus himself. But you ladies out there are EXTREMELY mistaken when you think you have to look a certain way to make a guy happy. Sure, some guys might only like big boobs, or some guys might only like really small, but any guy who doesn't like all of them is a gay guy. And ladies unless your innie turns into an outie, they just aren't ever going to love you anyway.



We call them many different things. Baby feeders, badoink a doinks, balloons, bazoombas, bee-stings, bosoms, boulders, cans, cantaloupes, cha-chas, chesticles, coconuts, dairy pillows, devil's dumplings, flapdoodles, funbags, gazongas, headlights, high beams, honkers, hood ornaments, hooters, hubcaps, jugs, knockers, mammaries, melons, milk bombs, milk jugs, milk wagons, milkmakers, mounds, nay-nays, neeners, ninnies, num-nums, pillows, puppies, racks, rib bumpers, speed bumps, tatas, teets, tits, titties, torpedoes, tweeters, whimwhams, yahoos, ying-yangs, or as I like to call them, "those squishy things the ladies on the bus got that are the reason I'm not allowed on the bus anymore." But whatever we call them, here are some truths about breasts:

- You could be the biggest butter face in the history of butt-nasty skank faces, and yet your boobs will be like a beautiful magical mystery tour through space and time to any hetero guy.

- They don't have to match. If you have one boob that is looking East and the other is heading West, that's fine. Your jugs just got some peripheral vision. Sweet.

- Unlike my hemorrhoids ... SIZE DOES NOT REALLY MATTER. I repeat ... SIZE DOES NOT REALLY MATTER. They are awesome and it doesn't matter if they are motorboatable or merely decorative. ALL BOOBS ARE AWESOME, AT ALL TIMES.





I have a lot of female friends. They have all kinds of boobs. Ginormous, tiny, i think one of my friends has three. Almost all of them wish they had something different. STOP THAT! You women, with all the time you spend with your insecurities. Shouldn't you be busy making me a steak?

I wish my testicles could find a cure for cancer and produce succulent chocolate pies, but they don't ... usually. I've learned to live with that. Just except what you got. Enjoy it. Love it. Be proud of it. Remember, it's not all about your jugs! You got a bacon strip downstairs that's really the fan favorite.

But, it's not just the ladies who have the boobs, fat guys and guys whose parents were family, also have the boobs. Boobs on guys: Not awesome. Plug your ears and nose and suck em back in. Stop confusing me! BTW, why do we have nipples? My nipples do nothing. I mean sure they produce milk and feed children, but other than that, nothing. WTF am i talking about?! This post has gone all wrong.



But why exactly are boobs so great? They are just fatty blobs. But for some reason they have enormous power in the world. Every time a wealthy prostitute like Paris Hilton "accidentally" has a boob pop out of one of her whore dresses, it's big news. But why? Why does the fatty sweat gland of a spoiled, entitled, do-nothing celebrity make everyone go nuts? Why? Chicken thigh. I DON'T KNOW! NOBODY KNOWS! How exactly does a black hole work, why are there gaps in evolution, why does Carson Daly still get work? These are mysteries we may never fully understand.

But I think I have an answer. When we are little jitarded babies, we pretty much have one major need and want. We want milk. We want to drink some delicious milk, and we know where we can get it. Boobs. Boobs make milk. They are like the pop machine at Taco Bell. When we eat 20 bean burritos we want some Dr. Pepper. It's so delicious and satisfying that we pretty much want to have sex with the pop machine. And that's why we aren't allowed in Taco Bell anymore.

It was our first want, our first desire. Our first thoughts were: BOOBS. MILK. BLOOD. FIRE. ... oops, I've said too much.

Finish The Movie Title!

E found this on the internets the other day:

"Sisterhood of the Traveling MONSTER TRUCK ON FIRE
The Notebook FULL OF DRAWINGS OF TIGERS
Breakfast at Tiffany’s HOUSE OF MARTIAL ARTS
Bridgette Jones’s Diary OF COMPLEX TIME MACHINE BLUEPRINTS
Never Been Kissed AND THAT’S OK
Legally Blonde AND LEGALLY BLIND BUT SO AMBITIOUS
What A Girl Wants IS BASE JUMPING LESSONS"

That's cute. Well, just like when I see a game of Monopoly, or drunken homeless people playing Russian roulette with hepatitis-tainted, heroine needles, I wanna play too!

Here's mine: MRN style! (I threw up in my mouth a little when I typed that.)


- Schindler's List OF FAVORITE MIDWESTERN STEAKHOUSES

- The Last Unicorn I WOULD MAKE OUT WITH IN THIS BAR

- Finding Nemo MAKING OUT WITH YOUR DAD ONE NIGHT WHEN YOUR MOM WAS OUT OF TOWN

- The Day After Tomorrow IS WEDNESDAY

- Batman Begins CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENTS

- Superman Returns MY LAWNMOWER, FINALLY. ASS.

- Scent of a Woman SMELLS LIKE LOBSTER

- Marley & Me KILLED A DOG CUZ WE GOT HIGH AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY

- Made of Honor AND TITANIUM

- Milk, EGGS, BREAD, BUTTER, TOILET PAPER, ASTROGLIDE, AND ICE CREAM IF IT'S ON SALE

- Fantastic Four SOME

- Superbad AT MATH

- Hancock (ADD YOUR OWN FOR THIS ONE)

101 Things I'm Sick Of! Part 3!

It's time for part 3! I don't feel like explaining. Let's just do
'er to 'er ...

The top 10!!!!!!!!

10. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

You are worse than Hitler. A long time ago, the son of God ... Jesus, died for our sins. Whatever that was, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt is the opposite of. You don't make me sick. Sick is something that passes. You actually are so horrible that you damage my organs. Cancer is something people should never joke about. It's a terrible disease. So when I say that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are as bad as cancer, I mean business. You are a cancer of our culture.

You are famous. You are successful. You do NOTHING! You just exist. You aren't interesting. You aren't clever. You aren't funny, smart, or even controversial. You just ... live. But what kind of life is it really? You are as fake as your boobs, both of you. You are Barbie and Ken. Which means I'm gonna end up putting my wiener on Heidi and Spencer Pratt has no genitalia. YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!! You are famous and successful for being uninteresting, shallow, meaningless, useless, complete wastes of matter.

I'm gonna be living in your neck of the woods before too long. And I may even end up being in some of the same circles as you. So let me say now, what I'll say to your faces: You have the same value and purpose as hemorrhoids. You are human hemorrhoids. You live in the anus of life and are nothing but an unnecessary pain.




9. Scaring Children

YOU IRRESPONSIBLE DUMBASS PARENTS! Stop scaring the holy hell out of the kids you never wanted to have in the first place! Stop making them fear everything in life! You scare the hell out of them, making them think that every stranger they meet is gonna steal them and get all Michael Jackson on them! But in reality, the chances of a child being abducted is the same as a person being hit by lightning. So until you start making them fear getting raped by lighting strikes, stop making them feel being molested by strangers!

It's ok to teach your kids that some people in the world are not good people, but it's not ok to teach them that their is danger around every corner. My insane grandmother was that kind of person. She tried to tell me that EVERYTHING was dangerous. It left me afraid and insecure. It's ok to teach your children to be smart and cautious. But also teach them to be brave. It empowers them. That kind of empowerment will serve them well the rest of their lives. Do you really want to have pussies for kids? Or do you want to have brave, bold, strong and confident kids? The kind of kids that would walk up to Carson Daly and kick him right in the balls? More on that later.





8. Alternative Medicine

Stop being a jackass, just take the Tylenol!




7. Dolphins

I know a lot of you just love dolphins. You get pictures of them airbrushed on all your jackets and vans. You go to Sea World and watch them do tricks and get chubbies from it. You think they are magical creatures that have some kind of spiritual power. You think they are extremely smart and gentle animals, worthy of nothing but the highest respect and admiration. Let me give you some facts:

- Dolphins are NOT smiling. They were born with faces like that. They aren't happy, they are sociopaths.

- Dolphins are NOT extremely smart. If they are so smart how come they live in the ocean and have sex with dolphins?! That's sick, and the ocean is gay.

- Dolphins are NOT your friends. Ever see a dolphin open it's mouth? It's got like a hundred Chiclets for teeth. It can't eat you. So it eats small fish. If it had bigger teeth it would eat you, your family, your dog, your unborn baby, and your hopes and dreams.

- Dolphins are gay sharks.




6. Taxes

Stop taking all my money asshole!

Stupid government. You take from my income, you take from what I purchase at the grocery store. You take when I go to the gas station. You take when I con mentally disabled adults out of social security checks, so I can take the money and spend it on paint thinner and Skittles. Is this not a free country?! Then why don't I feel free when you have a hand in each pocket and are rubbing your knuckles up against my balls?!

How's about this ... Stop taxing so much, and just STOP spending so much on ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT! I don't want to pay for you to build hippie museums and solar powered daisy-trains! Just stop taking my money to live out your hippie dippie fantasies! You are incompetent. Everything you do, fails. You print money so you can get away with it. At least until your overlords, the Red Chinese Communist, decide to stop buying our ever-increasingly worthless bonds. Republicans spent too much, and now Obama is spending like a drunken sailor. A drunken sailor with a ridiculous name. Stop having a weirdo name. What's with powerful black people and O names? Obama. Oprah, Bill Cosby. It's ridiculous.

Just do this one little thing. Keep your filthy g.d. hands out of my wallet you son's of bitches.




5. The Men's Room

Ladies, if you've never been in a public men's room (which is hard to believe with you ho bags) but if you've never been let me try and explain to you what it's like. Imagine a magical land filled with urine, dry diarrhea, obscenities written with sharpies and curly hairs covering white porcelain seats like the ground covered with autumn leaves. It's DISGUSTING. Guys are gross and shoot fluids, out of most of their holes, all over the disgusting, non-flushed toilets in our public bathrooms. A girl's bathroom is like Buckingham Palace compared to where we have to make!

Also 98% of guys DO NOT wash their hands. Then they go back out into the bar and put their hands all over you ladies. Gettin' urine drips all over your hands, back, and buttholes. Disgusting. I have the decency to wash my hands before groping sleeping strangers.




4. Margaret Cho

I'm glad that she's a lesbian because she makes my penis invert. She's a chubby, Asian, lesbian version of Carlos Mencia. Then again, Carlos Mencia is also a chubby, Asian, lesbian.




3. The Future

You lying sacks of shit. When I was a kid you promised me hover boards, and space cars. You promised me light sabers and video watches. You know what I got instead?!? A box on my desk that displays nothing but videos of cats and people peeing on each other. WHERE IS MY HOVER BOARD?! I NEED IT! I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE that all these amazing things were supposed to happen, and almost none of them did. I drive a 1996 Ford Taurus. IT DOES NOT FLY!

It's not that hard. Use magnets, or some kind of molecular displacer technology to make things float. Do I have to do everything for you people?! Just make my car fly! I'm sick of potholes and pedestrians on the sidewalks for my drinking mornings.

The future sucks. It's nothing but unfulfilled promises. Where is Captain Kirk?! Where is Spock?! Liars! I got nothing! I have a porn box on my desk and a tv that gets 400 channels of absolutely nothing to watch, except for Ace Of Cakes. You bastards and your lying sack of nuts future. I hate you.





2. Youngstown, Ohio

Ever visit your grandma at a nursing home? I'm not talking about when she first moves in, I'm talking after a few years, when she's running on fumes. She smells like urine, has strange bruises, and a bit of coleslaw in her newly grown beard. It's sad. It's sad to see someone at the end of their life lose all their dignity. That is the corrupt and broken city of Youngstown. It's at the end of it's life, and it smells like urine.

Home of an increasingly unsuccessful mafia, crack addiction, and murderers. Stick a fork in it, it's dead, then pull the fork out, and get a hazmat team to destroy it because it has feline aids. There are a lot of horrible places on Earth, each a haven of crime, corruption, and high unemployment. Sumgayit in Azerbaijan, Abidjan on the Ivory Coast, Chonchon in North Korea, the Darfur region of Sudan and others. But I'd rather walk around in a big American Flag and "F U" t-shirt in every one of those cities than step foot in Youngstown after dusk. Many people who live there try as hard as they can to pretend it's not that bad. That's like the octomom pretending her vag doesn't look like the opening to a circus tent after a tornado. It's bad.

You don't live in Youngstown, you barely survive it. Offend Youngstown




And now for number 1. The number 1 thing I'm most sick of, out of my list of a 101 things ....

....

1. CARSON DALY!

Once upon a time a man had sexual relations with a pee bucket. 9 months later, Carson Daly was born.

You have no reason to be famous anymore. You made sexual relations with the Backstreet Boys, painted your nails black and pretended to be friends with Kid Rock. For many years that was good enough to keep you on TV. But Kid Rock had kidney stones now, Backstreet has bad backs, and your nails are now only black from digging them into the black pit where your soul was meant to be.

How are you on TV?! And why do you look like Tom Hanks in the last 30 minutes of Philadelphia?! You and your little bicycle. cough cough gay.

You and your little "live strong" bracelet. Just because you don't have male genitalia doesn't mean you had cancer. You sicken me. Your show sickens me. You try to be the new Dick Clark every New Year's. People have strangled prostitutes that would have made better hosts than you. That was an odd reference.

You suck.

Every year you ruin the entire year ahead. Stop being on my tv. Stop riding your bike. Stop looking like you are dying. Stop pretending you are friends with people. You have no friends. You have no reason to exist. You are everything that has and ever will be wrong with the world in which we all struggle to live in. You would make me sick, but my own sick would be a nice and greatly improved substitute to you.





Things I'm Sick Of Part 2! 59 - 11


Things I'm Sick Of Part 1! 101 - 58


***Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MNinstitute


     Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN