Marching bands are for poor people and nerds! I hate you, I hate you marching bands! Except this one. This one I like.
They could blow my horn anytime. They could beat my drum all day. They could show me their boobs and stuff and maybe let me like motorboat, and maybe take some pictures, and I promise I wont put them on Japanese pornography websites. (shhh my fingers were crossed, I'd totally put them on Japanese pornography websites, wink)
You little emo Twilight loving bastards. I'm sorry your soup is cold, but it's no reason to cut yourself. However I have a long list of perfectly good reasons to cut yourself. I gotta admit, even the mighty, strong, and super macho sex-machine, MRN gets a little bit of the sad now and then. And when I get melancholy and pussy out and use words like "melancholy." I also listen to sad songs. If i felt human emotions these are the 10 songs I would listen to when I haz the sad:
10. José González - Teardrop
I don't know who let this damn foreigner into my country, but I'll look the other way this time, cuz this Massive Attack cover makes me almost not hate. Almost.
9. Radiohead - Nude
There might be sadder Radiohead songs but this one had a slow motion video. You know my policy on slow motion. EVERYTHING IS AWESOME IN SLOW MOTION. I could eat a chicken salad sandwich and pop out a black head in slow motion and it would be captivating.
8. Imogen Heap - Hide And Seek
This sounds EXACTLY like me when i get depressed and sing with my mouth up to the fan in my window. It attracts depressed robots : /
7. David Bowie - Space Oddity
Hello Captain Kirk? Captain Kirk, this is Spock. How is space? Space is a cold sad place that I want to go to so I can get me some Martian poontang. But it's sad, because when you go all the way up there, you are so alone, so far from everyone you ever knew on Earth. But of course the plus side is ... Martian Poon.
6. This Sad-Ass 80's Commercial For Tab
"When you can't be with him, be in his mind. Be a mind sticker."
5. Morrissey - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
"see the life I've had could make a good man ... bad." Yep.
4. Antony and the Johnsons - Hope there's someone
Ok, i know this guy looks like a fat sack of faggory, but I don't really give a good gawd damned, I like him, and I like his song. If you internet jerks even so much as shoot a cross look at this weird British sensitive man, I will throat punch you. I like this song, I like his music. You just settle down and shut your face. Just open your mind and enjoy this beautiful song. That's right, i said beautiful, I don't care, I'll say whatever I want, and if you don't like it, .... right here ... Deez Nutz buddy, Deez Nutz.
3. Nirvana - All Apologies
Kurt Cobain, mostly famous for being married to Courtney Love, sang this amazing and beautiful song, shortly before he ended his life and brought us a decade of Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. Way to go ass.
2. R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts
I don't even feel like making a joke about this one. Although it is pretty funny when the old man realizes his wife has gone senile. I instantly feel about about writing that, but not bad enough to delete it. sigh ... "hold on" really.
1. Johnny Cash - Hurt Cover
I'm 30, so I'm pretty old and senile, this song speaks to me. When I look back at my life I see so much tv, and so many snacks. It's sad, to think that I will never have those snacks again. ... unless i go to the store and get them. Sad.
Leave your top sad song list in the comments section, because nobody cares. Except for me. But not that much.
He was your favorite 80's cartoon character from your favorite cartoon, Thundercats (no he wasn't, no it wasn't.)
But did you ever notice he was naked? You were a kid so you didn't notice, but he had a huge penis and testicles. That's dirty and kids from the 80's shouldn't be looking at that. So I fixed it. I placed a censor bar over his snarf and balls.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who totally has a boner now.
- Spencer Pratt’s thoughts on global economic policy
- Which animal vaginas I can fit my head into
- Which animal vaginas I can NOT fit my head into
- Old women I get sexual gratification by being belligerent to
- Why my balls itch
- Why I can't really feel love without money changing hands and the midget sitting on my face
- Why you make me so sick I want to poop, poop out of anger, and then just, I don't know ... like touch my poop with my hands, and just, not like pick it up or anything, but just sorta poke it, and show you that I'm poking it. You'd be all like "what the hell are you doing MRN?!" And I'd be all like, "I'm so mad at you, that I pooped, right here in the middle of Target and now I'm sticking my thumbs in it because I hate you! I hate you and your stupid face, and your stupid ass, and your face again, and your arms and everything. You are a jerk. This is how much I want you to be a dead person and just die and and and you suck and you are a whore!"
- Afghan or Afghani? (I was going to show pictures of rugs and members of the Taliban and see if you could guess which was which, harder than you think)