I recently interviewed one of my favorite new bands, Stepdad. Stepdad and Justin Bieber are the future of music.
MRN: First of all, let me just say it’s a pleasure to interview you. Since my real father wont speak to me, this is about as close as it gets.
Stepdad: (no response)
MRN: Where did the name Stepdad come from? Was it based on a molestation incident? Sort of like how Dave Matthews Band got their name?
Stepdad: It was part of a phrase randomly generated by a computer. In the future, all bands will start this way.
MRN: I'm not sure about that. But I am sure that Dave Matthews molested like a 24 Pakistanis. Allegedly. There, I'm covered legally now. You have a song titled “My Leather, My Fur, My Nails.” Do you worry about offending PETA and Asian women?
Stepdad: At this point in PETA's agenda, I don't believe that vandalizing coats made out of humans is a priority. It is likely more a matter in the jurisdiction of the FBI. Luckily, there doesn't seem to be legal precedent to prosecute for the use of metaphor.
MRN: Your music has been described as a cross between Pantera and Ke$ha … by me. How do you sleep at night?
Stepdad: I cannot refute the cultural impact of classics like "Cemetery Gates" and "Phrases Recorded Between Hospitalizations for Alcohol Poisoning and Subsequently Autotuned - Part 3" (or whatever Ke$ha's new single is called). I can however state that we cite our biggest influences as The Beach Boys, Tears for Fears, Talkings Heads, Gary Numan, and others in that vein. In answer to your inquiry, typically with the ingestion of Ambien CR and Bourbon.
MRN: I noticed there are no Hispanics in the band. Is this because you are still angry at them for bombing Pearl Harbor?
Stepdad: No. It is because the ancient nation of Hispania fell with the decline of the Roman Empire and takeover by the Visigoths in the early centuries of the common era.
MRN: You have a beard. What’s that like? I tried to grow a beard. It was all patchy and ended up looking like pubes.
Stepdad: When it's really short, it's a bit itchy. If you tough out the first few weeks, it's all smooth sailing from there. It serves as a wonderful food catcher as well.
MRN: Your video for “My Leather, My Fur, My Nails” made me think I was on the drugs. I’ve never done the drugs. Is that what drugs would make me see?
Stepdad: Save the other side effects of drug use, which can include imaginary conversations about death with strangers on subways [true story], yes; drugs are a bit like that.
MRN: Your music is truly great, and unique. However your myspace page has 2,702 friends and John Mayer has 504,302 friends. Does that ever make you believe there is no God? Does it make you question the point of your existence? Jessica Simpson submitted this question.
Stepdad: John Mayer is actually a hilarious guy. His songwriting style is definitely geared toward a more adolescent and delusional female market, but I would hang with that dude any day. And just to avoid beef, I'd probably politely wave at Jessica Simpson in passing.
MRN: What is your favorite John Mayer song? Is it the one where he sings like a little woman so he can get into the tight pants of a drunk washed up celebrity? That’s my favorite song.
Stepdad: I'm going to be quite forthright by saying that I used to work at a casino which quite frequently rotated "Waiting on the World to Change" over the loudspeakers and I have been caught whistling the guitar solo to it once or twice. [Stepdad would like to inform you that this is solely the view of Ultramark and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cobrazebra or Optimus Fives.]
MRN: I like your band. I like your names, it's like if Transformers had a band. What are some of the big things ahead for Stepdad? Shaving? New videos? John Mayer covers?
Stepdad: We've been chiseling away at out LP for quite a while. It's going to be called Wildlife Pop and should be done towards the end of the year. Ultramark recently shaved for a court appearance, but is currently regrowing his luscious mane. There are certainly more videos to come, we will have another video out before the release Wildlife Pop. No John Mayer covers in the works at the moment, but we have covered Ace of Base, the cover can be found here: http://soundcloud.com/stepdadmusic/stepdad-never-gonna-say-im-sorry-ace-of-base-cover
MRN: Who is your favorite Beatle? Living Beatle I mean. And obviously I’m excluding Paul McCartney. He didn’t do much.
Stepdad: All of them, along with Bob Dylan and Ravi Shankar (for showing them drugs and sitars, respectively).
MRN: What is the future for Stepdad? And just in general, what is the future?
Stepdad: Wildlife Pop LP coming soon. International Superstardom to follow. By the close of the decade an amendment to the constitution will allow Stepdad to collectively accept the responsibilities of the Presidency of the United States.
MRN: Ever consider doing a tour with the band “Say Hi To Your Mom?” Or maybe my own band, “My Dad Left My Mom And Eventually Ended Up Marrying A Woman Who Was Unclean And Got A Penis Disease?” It’s a side project from my main band, “Dave Matthews Band 2."
Stepdad: Our current plans do include touring in the future, likely with our buddies in Nightlife (nightlifepop.com), Gobble Gobble (myspace.com/leatherjowels), or Nathan K. (myspace.com/nathankmusic). Listen to all of them!
MRN: Ever kill a man?
Stepdad: We have been told after performances that we "killed it". Count it.
MRN: Where can people buy your stuff? I looked everywhere in Walmart but found nothing.
Stepdad: You can purchase our EP for a dollar or more (your choice, it used to be free but the website told us not to do that anymore) at stepdad.bandcamp.com. If you come to our shows you can buy posters. T-shirts and online store coming soon. Go to stepdad.us to keep up on all the latest news, as well as stray and useless thoughts that happen into our stupid brains.
MRN: Well Stepdad, it's been a pleasure for you and I highly recommended everyone check out your band, as well as Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Ke$ha, Justin Bieber, Jessica Simpson, The Beatles and Rammstein. I didn't mention Rammstein, but I just really like Rammstein.
*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute